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Stepparent Self Assessment - Male Norms

Introduction

Use this survey to see how well you are progressing in eight areas as a stepparent.

If you are a female, click here to take Stepparent Self Assessment - Female Norms.

Instructions

There is a total of 26 questions.
Every question requires an answer.
Choose the answer that most accurately shows how well you believe you are doing in the area under consideration. For example, select 0% to 10% if you feel you have little or no mastery over the area in question--and higher scores to show increasing mastery over the area in question.


Question 1
I care for myself responsibly, knowing if I do not, I will have little or nothing to give to the people in my life whom I care the most about.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 2
Outside of meeting my essential needs for self-care, my relationship with my partner is my number one priority.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 3
I have fashioned my role in this stepfamily to suit my individual relationships and comfort level, rather than to reflect prescribed roles and unrealistic expectations-including my own.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 4
I am a full participant in all decisions that stand to impact my relationship with my partner and my stepfamily. My partner and I work as a team.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 5
I do not accept responsibility for the welfare of children over whom I can set no limits.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 6
My stepchildren and I are quite "OK" with the relationships we have with one another.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 7
I do not feel that my every waking moment should be devoted to the children.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 8
I genuinely listen to understand, and strive to communicate clearly, truthfully and respectfully.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 9
I treat each member of my stepfamily with kindness, courtesy and respect-and require the same in return.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 10
I am respectful of the fact that most members of a stepfamily have grief to heal.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 11
I do not allow people outside of my immediate family to impose plans that affect my life without my consent.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 12
I set and honor realistic limits and boundaries, and choose my battles wisely.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 13
I will not accept being treated as an "outsider" in my own home.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 14
I do not assume sole responsibility for this stepfamily's success or happiness.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 15
I do not assume sole responsibility for the housework.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 16
I require that others respect my private space and personal possessions.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 17
I do not see myself, nor anyone else, as "the problem with this stepfamily".
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 18
I excuse myself from being "caught in the middle" of conflicts between my stepchildren and their parents.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 19
I refuse to say anything derogatory about any child's natural parent.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 20
Rather than clamoring for an instant family, instant love, and instant acceptance, I am able to go slowly enough to allow everyone time to find his/her unique place within this stepfamily.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 21
I am reassured in times of difficulty knowing that confronting and resolving difficulties helps to create the ties that bind the stepfamily together.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 22
I'm strong enough and wise enough to seek out the guidance and support I need; and to use it.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 23
I am confident enough in my relationship and role, and knowledgeable enough about stepfamily life that I do not "take things personally".
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 24
I have forgiven myself for all of the negative thoughts, feelings, words, and actions I held or expressed about myself, my partner, the kids and prior spouses.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 25
I'm able to give myself credit for my efforts, for learning from my mistakes, and for the successes I have already achieved.
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

Question 26
I allow myself to "relax" and "lighten up".
	0% to 10% mastery
	11% to 20% mastery
	21% to 30% mastery
	31% to 40% mastery
	41% to 50% mastery
	51% to 60% mastery
	61% to 70% mastery
	71% to 80% mastery
	81% to 90% mastery
	91% to 100% mastery

All questions require an answer. Please check to ensure that none have been missed.

Click the FINISHED button when all questions have been correctly answered.

Your report will appear in a few seconds.